Honesty is the worst fucking policy when you’re an asshole and do asshole things that you can’t stop yourself from coming clean about months later.
There have been so many times when my friends gave advice like, “YEAH, NO. Just keep that bit to yourself, trust me.” And then I don’t. Because I can’t. And here I am again. Crying on the phone and confessing and apologizing for things that could have easily slipped into the past without anyone knowing or caring or being hurt.
Maybe it would be more noble to live with my guilty conscience and let the past stay in the past, especially when it’s beyond the point of relevance. Or maybe I could just not ever do things that I know would upset someone. It’s hard to keep everyone happy at once and still save some happiness for yourself, but I can’t lose another person like this. Not one that I hold so close.
Sending emails to teachers
Me: Sounding extremely formal, using fancy words, correcting grammar and spelling at least 63 times.
Teacher: Ok lol thanxx :-)
UPDATE: The online dating thing was not my worst move.
In just a few weeks, I went from spending most of my free time in my prison cell bedroom watching endless amounts of Netflix and waiting on texts from people who are never going to legitimately value me, to movie dates and long drives and pizza/wine nights and having dinner cooked for me and waking up to nice texts and having after-work cuddlenap plans. I honestly forgot that things could be easy like that. And that I could actually be good enough for someone without having to constantly prove myself.
So uh. You should give the online stuff a shot if you’re tired of the asshole locals and the social circles that you can’t seem to get away from. You never know.